until I've had my coffee."
--Clark Gable
in my previous post, i mentioned that i drink black coffee. if i had religion, anything but black coffee would be against it.
i don't drink lattes.
tonight at caffiend, asheville's 24 hour coffee shop, i got a latte. i humored my favorite barista, ian, and let him play the fun barista game. this is the game when someone walks into your shop and says, "what do i want?"
usually, at this point the barista gets over-excited and starts asking you lots of questions.
"hot or cold?"
if hot:
"caffeinated?"
if cold:
"blended or over ice?"
then:
"do you like chocolate? white chocolate? fruit? nuts? strong? weak?"
tonight, i was on the other side of the counter and played the game.
"hot or cold?"
hot.
"caffeinated?"
yes.
"chocolatey, nutty, or fruity?"
chocolatey.
"okay..."
small. skim. have fun.
he made me a delicious peppermint mocha. he can foam the jesus out of some milk. (does milk have jesus? SHOULD milk have jesus?) and he completely reaffirmed why i don't drink lattes.
they're too delicious and sinful.
i started the consuming process by taking off the lid and enjoying the foam for a bit. then i started on the latte. it was creamy and delicious and not too sweet. i finished it and drank every last bit of foam and stared at the bottom of my empty cup with great disdain.
after i realized what i had done (drank the latte, enjoyed it to the point of feeling contempt for the small size i chose, and thought about getting another one), i wanted to take myself out back and give myself a good talking to.
that is the last latte i will drink for a long time. it was a perfect, delicious treat that i will not let myself indulge in for quite a while. and, well...sugar and milk aside, there simply isn't enough caffeine in lattes. a small cup of coffee would have given me a little more of a jolt (or psychological jolt...caffeine is a topic for another day) and i wouldn't have felt like i'd just committed a mortal sin.
i am grateful for that little creamy, foamy, sweet, delicious drink. but the next time i go to a coffee shop...it's back to black drip or espresso.
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the musings of a barista in the city of ashes, the paris of the south.
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- english toffee, french vanilla and white chocolate make fore a really creamy and delicious latte. kimi and i came up with this for paul when he came in last week. he named it "the hundred years war."
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coffee enthusiasts.
coffee dictionary.
so, if you're like the way i used to be, you don't ask your barista questions. you might not know the difference betweeen a latte and a cappucino. that's fine! i'll try to help clarify here. leave a comment if you don't know what something means, and i'll post the answer here.
americano: tastes very much like brewed coffee, but it is fresher. it is freshly pulled espresso and hot water.
breve: (pronounced BRE-vay...e as in EStimate) this is a creamier, more fattening (and consequently more delicious) version of the latte. it is made with half and half instead of milk.
cappucino: composed of the same elements as a latte EXCEPT this drink has 1/4 liquid and 3/4 foam. (this is all approximately and will vary based on barista and coffee shop.) the capp is much stronger than a latte.
crema: the beautiful layer on top of an espresso shot. it is the creamiest, sweetest part and if the shot you are pulled is lacking it, you should ask for another shot to be pulled. crema-less espresso is bad news.
dry: a certain way of taking your cappucino. there is more FOAM in a dry cappucino. so if you want your cappucino foamy, order it dry!
espresso: (frequently mispronounced as EXpresso) a concentrated coffee drink usually pulled in one to one and a half ounce volumes. this is what goes into your lattes, cappucinos, breves, and americanos.
frappucino: this drink does not exist in a real coffee world. it is a by-product of starbucks.
latte: a coffee drink made up of steamed milk and espresso. it can also be flavored. a latte has about 3/4 liquid and 1/4 foam.
macchiato: (mah-key-YA-toe) a double shot of espresso with some foam or whipped cream on top. IT IS NOT THAT BASTARDIZATION THAT STARBUCKS SERVES. a delicious twist on a macchiato has caramel in it, though. ask your barista for a macchiato with a shot of caramel, whipped cream, and nutmeg sprinkled on top. yummm.
pointless: a sugar-free, fat-free, decaf latte.
skinny: a latte or cappucino with skim milk.
the barista game: a series of questions your barista will ask you when YOU ask THEM what YOU want. questions may include: do you like coffee? hot or cold? chocolate? the barista game makes baristas very happy. creativity keeps them on their toes.
americano: tastes very much like brewed coffee, but it is fresher. it is freshly pulled espresso and hot water.
breve: (pronounced BRE-vay...e as in EStimate) this is a creamier, more fattening (and consequently more delicious) version of the latte. it is made with half and half instead of milk.
cappucino: composed of the same elements as a latte EXCEPT this drink has 1/4 liquid and 3/4 foam. (this is all approximately and will vary based on barista and coffee shop.) the capp is much stronger than a latte.
crema: the beautiful layer on top of an espresso shot. it is the creamiest, sweetest part and if the shot you are pulled is lacking it, you should ask for another shot to be pulled. crema-less espresso is bad news.
dry: a certain way of taking your cappucino. there is more FOAM in a dry cappucino. so if you want your cappucino foamy, order it dry!
espresso: (frequently mispronounced as EXpresso) a concentrated coffee drink usually pulled in one to one and a half ounce volumes. this is what goes into your lattes, cappucinos, breves, and americanos.
frappucino: this drink does not exist in a real coffee world. it is a by-product of starbucks.
latte: a coffee drink made up of steamed milk and espresso. it can also be flavored. a latte has about 3/4 liquid and 1/4 foam.
macchiato: (mah-key-YA-toe) a double shot of espresso with some foam or whipped cream on top. IT IS NOT THAT BASTARDIZATION THAT STARBUCKS SERVES. a delicious twist on a macchiato has caramel in it, though. ask your barista for a macchiato with a shot of caramel, whipped cream, and nutmeg sprinkled on top. yummm.
pointless: a sugar-free, fat-free, decaf latte.
skinny: a latte or cappucino with skim milk.
the barista game: a series of questions your barista will ask you when YOU ask THEM what YOU want. questions may include: do you like coffee? hot or cold? chocolate? the barista game makes baristas very happy. creativity keeps them on their toes.
wet: the opposite of dry. the way you take your cappucino if you want more milk than a regular cappucino and less milk than a latte.
1 comment:
Jeez... the coffee equivalent of being the last man a lesbian was with.
Sorta.
I am truly flattered, my lady.
:-*
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