"...when you're on a stage and you're

singing and you can feel the beat of the band shaking
the boards on the stage, you feel like you're drunk.
Yes, you do, baby."
--john kennedy toole's "The Neon Bible" (aunt mae speaking)

my shots have all been poorly pulled today.
there was even something wrong with the first shot of the day that i pulled for myself.
i love the first shot of the day.
it's like an exquisite little prize you get for being a barista.
not only do you get to spend your whole day with beans that create many moments of joy for their consumers, but you also get the very first taste of what your day will be like.
it is as if the first shot predetermines everybody's day.
everybody who comes into the shop, that is.

when i saw the crema was short on this morning's espresso and it wasn't quite creamy enough, i knew that it would be a rough day.

of the bean
that they drink
everyday every week
they should quit
coffee's bad
makes you crazy, fucking mad
but they say in defense
(with a pause for suspense)
'it's the stuff of the gods!
sexy, smart, hot, bods.
rollercoaster hurricane
supersonic jet plane...'
-"habit" by jump little children

i have allowed coffee to become my religion. i am the worshipper of this delicious bean that has become my savior.

i frighten myself with these words,
but i think i am just feeling strongly about them
because i have had a bad day.